Is My Baby Over-tired or Bored?
This is quite a huge subject to unpack as parent's perceptions have been strongly influenced by old ways of framing infant behaviour as having sleep/ eat/ play cycles that parents work with according to time on the clock. It also runs parallel with a burgeoning 'sleep training' industry that operate from the paradigm that a baby needs to be taught to self-settle and to learn to run one sleep cycle into the next.
This thinking is at odds with responding to and working with your baby's natural biology.
As parents you have two powerful tools to help your baby sleep well and be contented.
These are firstly, frequent flexible feeding throughout the day when you think your baby is cueing for it. And secondly, making sure your baby is provided with an appropriate level of sensory stimulation from his surroundings, preferably in an environment outside the four walls of the home for part of each day.
Sleep will take care of itself with this parenting approach and over time your baby will come to know what day sleep is about, compared to night sleep.
The concept of sleep/ eat/ play cycles has given rise to an emphasis on looking for 'tired cues' in a baby. This infant management model, which the literature now refers to as 'first wave behaviouralism', has largely focused on interpreting baby's fussing behaviour as 'tired cues' after a period of time on the clock has passed. Suggesting then, that once this is demonstrated by baby, she should be put to bed to be taught to self-settle and develop good sleep habits.
We have moved past this understanding now with raising babies. These were practices that led to significant dialling up of both the baby and mother's sympathetic nervous system when bub was duly put down and sleep then didn't eventuate. It also bred an enormous amount of frustration and guilt with parents, feeling they must not be reading their baby's tired cues well enough to know what to best do for their child.
We promote cue-based care as a practice that helps you to tune in to your baby's biology and respond to him in ways you think he seems to be cue-ing for. It could be a top up drink of milk she wants when she begins to get restless and fuss. Or she might indeed be wanting to sleep - but she also might just be bored.
Has bub been sitting in a bouncer for a while, or in your lap while you have been sitting still? Or perhaps left on a play mat on the floor for quite a bit?
Your intuition is the best barometer and the dial on your sympathetic nervous system is the best filter in working out what to do for her. Not the time on the clock.
Babies are born with two hungers. One is for milk and the other is for sensory nourishment.
If you think your baby is getting tired, pick her up or get up from being seated with her and hold her close as you walk around. The sway of your movement will nourish the vestibular part of her brain. The things you show her to see, hear or feel will nourish her rapidly growing brain cortex too. Check that her nappy is clean.
If she is tired, she will go to sleep. But if she remains alert and awake, then start to take notice of the sensory diet she is receiving. It needs to be rich, diverse and age appropriate. It can't be the same for too long without them getting restless.
Planning out your week with activities and things you want to get done helps you not fall into the trap of having a restless baby at home who is bored. Trust that sleep for your baby will take care of itself as you go about your day, and know you are helping to shape her circadian clock to recognise night and day.