Keeping Baby Safe When Crying Gets Too Much

The majority of parents understand that their child requires sensitive responding, and the majority of parents can usually deliver that, most of the time. Prolonged crying, however, can diminish a parent's capacity to work out what their baby is cue-ing for with their crying and then respond in a way that helps their baby to emotionally self-regulate.

Parents worry that their child’s crying may have a medical basis or at least be happening because of some need that they feel they should be able to identify. Being a parent can be tough.

The transition to this important and significant status of becoming a parent is a rapid one, albeit that for most people it has been looked forward to with great expectation for nine months. However, when it finally does happen, it can come with a bang, and be accompanied by a tide of sleeplessness, fatigue, and a whole wonderment of experiences and stressors that arise in responding to the needs of this special little person who has come into your life.

Stepping into the responsibilities of parenthood is a huge psychological and neuro-hormonal shift, that brings with it your new identity. You are now a parent. This child is yours and completely reliant on you.

When we are at our lowest, or most fatigued, and the fussing and crying repetitively occurs, negative thought patterns can set up in our minds, which we call brain loops.

Parents often start to tell themselves things like “I can't do this” or “I'm no good at this” or “this baby deserves a better parent than me”. We can even start resenting the baby and wondering whether we actually love them. And for most people who become parents, none of these difficult types of feelings were ever anticipated during the pregnancy.

Suffering with anxiety or post-natal depression affects around one or two in every ten mothers and fathers.
However, even without a diagnosis or suffering with a mental health condition, there will be days where it feels like it is all just too hard, and life as a parent is getting too stressful.

In these moments when your baby is crying hard and you cannot console him, and your ability to cope is slipping away, place your baby down in a safe space and walk away. Tune out momentarily to the distress of the crying and hold to the knowledge and awareness that you are at your limit. Give yourself and your baby a circuit break where you can regather yourself, before you start again.

It's alright to do this. He will only be crying, and he will be safe.

You may think it will never happen to you, but these moments come for many people at some point. Recognising that you are at such a point, or in such a moment with your baby, is an act of self-compassion and the healthiest position you can adopt about the circumstances you are in. Taking steps to maintain your sanity or to keep him safe before you do something that may unintentionally harm him is an act of great love for your baby.